Before I was an obese adult, I was a normal child; that is, of "normal" weight. But before I was an obese adult, I was also and obese kid. That's me in the picture above at about seven years old. The guy below is also me only a measly five years later, at 12 years of age.
The GQ model in this next picture is me at about 24 years old. Forgive the quality. I don't have a scanner...yet.
You're probably wondering, "What's this last pic got to do with anything? I thought the theme was the formative years?" Well I had to try to offset the embarrassment of having shared with you that pic in the middle. Not exactly one of my proudest stages. But the real reason for including this third one in which I look slim is to illustrate the degree to which I have lost weight as an adult, since I already shared the one showing the degree to which I have gained weight. I told you that my highest weight level was 336 lbs. In this picture here at 24 years old, I was weighing 220 lbs. People who knew me before slimming down to that weight wondered and asked me if I was dying, had some terminal illness or was hooked on meth.
That picture might not seem to illustrate an unhealthy, skinny guy to your eyes. But that is the point I want to highlight. Until about two days ago, I had never truly stopped to look back at my long battle with weight management. But then I started going over some old family photo albums and realized for the first time that I haven't lost, or gained, weight only once or twice in my life. I've been on a roller coaster of gaining and losing fat and I never even realized it. I was a child of normal weight for my entire "childhood" until I was an older kid, when I became over weight. In my very early teens, from about eleven to 15 years of age, I was obese. Then my hormones won the debate over whether I was more interested in girls versus food, so I slimmed down a lot. From age 15 to 19 years old I was at first thin, then slightly chunky. From 19 years old to 23, I was an overweight "big guy". That's how people who care for me described me. "You're big boned. You look good. A big guy like you would look awkward or sick if you were to lose a lot of weight." From age 24 to about age 30 I was thin, as the picture here illustrates. Then again, from about 31 to 35 years old I ballooned to the whopping 336 lbs. And now, I'm back again to a more "normal" weight.
Why the entire run-down? I just wanted you to visualize what has been going on in my long battle against the pounds. A battle which I was oblivious to. In part because when you get so out of shape, it is difficult to accept that you have let yourself go and are morbidly obese. Even your mirror lies to you. The scales are always wrong. Or nowhere to be found because, really, who needs them? And your loved ones, God bless their noble souls, are in on the self-deception with you, too! Perhaps it is culture. Perhaps it is refusal to call things as they are. Or maybe they're shy about calling you out on your girth and don't want to hurt your feelings. And then there is the traditions of the Rio Grande Valley. I don't blame my heritage and culture. I am responsible for my own health. But when you are addicted to a substance or alcohol or food, constantly attending carne asada parties on the weekends, or even bar-b-ques during the week 'cuz--hey, screw it! Light it up and pop open a brusky, bro!" Yeah, that is called enabling an addict.
When I was a child, I had a very stable appetite. But certain family members who had grown up in extreme poverty in Mexico and knew what it was to be without good food, felt they were doing us a great good by indulging our growing interest in the pleasure of eating as we started growing more. My mother would try to control our habits of asking for seconds after having had an adult-sized serving. But that is where my lack of self-control was born. A few members of the extended family would stop her and tell her to leave me alone and not stop me from eating as much as I could handle. "Don't worry, it's just a phase. He'll outgrow it, you'll see. Just let him develop an interest in girls and you'll see how fast he slims down. All big boys like him are like that. Let him eat what he wants."
They meant well. But they had no idea that their kindness was a curse. A cycle of bad habits that has taken me the greater part of my life to bring under my complete control. My mother had the right idea all along. Stop the overeating before it's too late. But it was too late.
Today is a good day, for I have seen the light. This effort I am making to change my destiny is the definitive attempt. The measures that I am taking here to lose weight are not part of a new "diet" phase. It's a total change in lifestyle. From the foods I eat, to the activities I choose to engage in. I no longer watch TV for hours on-end while rotting on a couch. I no longer eat simply for the pleasure of the pallet. Now I use my time wisely and for some physical profit. Now I no longer live to eat, I eat to live.
UPDATE!
This morning I had three cage-free chicken eggs, sunny side up. I grilled four slices of ham and sauteed about 12 mini-carrots. I also had three mozzarella cheese sticks and dowsed the entire meal with hot sauce. I washed it down with about 6 oz. of iced tea. For brunch, I had 1 1/2 cups of old-fashioned oatmeal with a 1/4 cup of milk, one tablespoon of real butter, and about two teaspoons of ground cinnamon. After that, I had a 12 oz. cup of black coffee sweetened with stevia. For lunch, I had an order of eight garlic Parmesan chicken wings with a side of sliced, raw carrots and celery. And to drink, I had a Diet Coke. After all this good eating, I have not felt hungry, so I did not eat anything else.
****Spoiler Alert!
Tomorrow is the day of truth. I will be weighing myself after I wake up sometime in the morning and will be posting the results on this blog. So be sure to check it out if you want to know the effectiveness of my strategy for weight loss. Hasta pronto!
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